The Official Newsletter of Country Club & the Porn Horns
August 2003  


August 8, 2003 - Tobacco Road
   355 W. 41st St, NYC (bet. 8th & 9th Aves)
with 8 Deep / GrooveTrust

Chaunce from Country Club & The Porn Horns here, writing to wish you a merry mid-summer and give you the 'ol C-Club update.

First off, we had a great show at Tobacco Road in June thanks to you, the faithful CCPH heads. Check out for new photos from that show, shot by the one and only James Burger. During the past couple of months, we've been feverishly working on our masterstroke debut album "Station Wagon Revolution". Between sessions, we spend time with our toes in the sand, spiking volleyball jams, and take turns shaving each others shoulders... so it’s been a productive summer.

We are very excited to rock Tobacco Road yet again on Friday, August 8th, 2003 at 10pm. We’re playing a 1½ hour set chock-full of old & new surprises, suggestive body movements, and of course... THE JAMS! Make sure to bring a hoola-hoop and we'll bring the beach balls. Tickets are only $10 if you order in advance at (click here to order tickets). The Porn Horns (Tempuss, Kel C & Shirly T) will also be playing a couple of songs with GrooveTrust after the CCPH set, so stick around to check out the flavors.

And with that out of the way, I’d like to take this time to clear up some confusion on my favorite pastime… BLUES. To me, blues is more than just a genre of American music, it’s a way of expressing the pain and anguish humans feel from day to day, regardless of economical status or race. And if you think that you need to walk around in a black suit, wail on a harmonica for 8 hours a day and change your first name to "Smokestack-Lightning" in order to play the blues, you’re dead wrong. The trick is to harvest a proper “blues” attitude, whether or not you can actually play music or sing. Here are some helpful tips which can help you to integrate more blues into your life:

Make up an imaginary name for your band with you as the leader. Always make sure you use “& The” to separate your name from your backing band’s name. Some good examples are: “Chaunce Hayden & The Blues Jams”, “Black Hole & The Starlites”, “Braimy Saltino & The Braimtown Singers” and “Chazz Masterson & The Florida Hot Nites”.

You can’t rock a blues jam without an instrument, so if you don’t own a guitar, grab a broom, a ruler or a spatula. Now give it a girl’s name. Porn names work especially well for this purpose: Raylene, Chasey, Savannah or Ginger.

Before you can sing the blues, you need to know the vocabulary. Try to use the words “baby”, “mama”, “yeah”, and “all night long” as much as you can in your lyrics. Also be careful to pronounce the word “blues” like “bluce”.

Blues lyrics are all about paradox. If your song starts off with “Never gonna be my baby, mama”, you must finish it with something like “Cause I’m your mama’s baby, baby”. Now end the line with “yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah”.

And remember, a blues jam should always be a spontaneous response to an adverse situation. So the next time someone cuts you in line, you stub your toe, or you have to wake up for work, belt out: Why you always cut my stubbie on the downtown mama, when I need to be workin’ my baby’s baby, a-a-a-a-all nite long”.


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